


The Case of the Baby Detective

by RoseRedAndJadeGreen



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: And they are angry, Attempted Murder, But it's indirect and not graphic in any way, Dadvitz, Gen, Kravitz is angry but mostly scared, M/M, Mystery, Protective Kravitz, Protective Taako, So Is Taako, Taako's School of Wizardry, The BoB has adopted Angus
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-18
Updated: 2019-03-18
Packaged: 2019-05-25 03:37:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14968277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoseRedAndJadeGreen/pseuds/RoseRedAndJadeGreen
Summary: "Sometimes a normal day is a good day. But right now? With kids panicking, Ren urgently trying to talk to him over the noise, and someone crying, all buzzing in his stone of farspeech at once? Taako wasn’t having a good day anymore."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there! If you like this story, I'm seriously thinking about doing more chapters, maybe making it a longer fic. If you're interested in more, let me know! This story is currently unbetad.  
> -Jade

It was about two years after the whole...Hunger thing. Taako had a wonderful time, being a fancy headmaster of a school. He even picked baking back up with a bit of encouragement from his darling sister. He’d been around the block at least, oh, a hundred times, which was to say that he was a confident dude that knew when to sling a spell and when to hang back. He had settled in, at least a little bit, into the idea of having a much more chill life now that he was all famous. He had started up his Wizard School and had been pretty damn responsible as a headmaster, if he said so himself. And he did. Frequently.

He had been having a good day. Barry and Lup were out on a special reaper mission, and Kravitz was mostly just doing paperwork. Personally, Taako thought it was lame as all hell that Death sometimes had to work a 9 to 5, but eh, he guesses not everything can be about living the high life. Sometimes, your day was just normal. In fact he had been pinning his hair up, hair tie in mouth as he began to braid it, which is a pretty normal thing to do with hair as long as his, when his stone of farspeech came on from around his neck. With one hand in his hair, his mouth full, and the other holding the stone, he could only let out a muffled sound of confirmation.

“Taako? Oh, thank the gods, listen, things’ve gone south, real quick, Something happened and-and I don’t know what to do, the kids are losing it and-No, Issa, go stand over by-” She was cut off, and there was the sound of frantic rustling. “Please hurry, Taako, the kids are getting upset and Angus is-he’s, oh god I don’t know what to do…”

Sometimes a normal day is a good day. But right now? With kids panicking, Ren urgently trying to talk to him over the noise, and someone crying, all buzzing in his stone of farspeech at once? Taako wasn’t having a good day anymore.  
“Krav, pick up, shit-” He swore, putting in his boyfriend’s frequency  
“Taako? I’m here, Taako, what’s wrong? Is someone injured?”  
“Listen, something happened at the school, Ren is freaking out, and I need to get there, now!” He said, going to the bathroom and taking a first aid kit, as well as some healing potions, looking around for anything else he might need. With a familiar distortion of reality, and a new rip, Kravitz arrived. Without a word, Taako went through with him, and they arrived just outside the door to Ren’s classroom. With his wand at the ready, and his first aid kit in the other, he fact the unknown, before freezing dead in his tracks, causing Kravitz to bump into him in his own hurry to get in.

“Taako. Is that…?” Kravitz said quietly, staring wide eyed at the scene before them.

The event happened at the start of lunch, as was evident by all the lunch boxes, still full, opened across the desks. The kids were all sitting against the chalkboard wall at the front of the room, talking quietly to each other in very worried voices. The wizard’s eyes fell to Ren, holding a swaddle of something he didn’t want to recognize. Especially since the fabric was the vest of a very not present boy detective.

Taako shoved the things he held at Kravitz, who took them and followed when the elf walked towards the woman. Sure enough, in the makeshift sling, there was a mess of hair and a pair of eyes blinking up at him that very clearly were those of one Angus McDonald. “Ren. How in the hell did this happen?”

The drow shifted, and walked over towards a desk that Taako recognized immediately to be Angus’. His lunch was open, a small bread bun and a thermos of soup. “So, lunch had just started and Angus had been eating when, out of nowhere, he started coughing. I thought he might have started choking so I rushed over to help, but then he just pushes me out of the way and tries to throw up into the trash can. Like, make himself hurl! And then he looked at me and was about to tell me something when...When…” She nodded down to the baby in her arms.

Taako glanced at the boy’s lunch with narrowed eyes, humming in thought. Don’t think about the baby. He shifted it around with the spoon, and brought it up to smell. “There’s something off about this, which is probably why Angus started to panic before he changed. I think someone slipped something in here to get him to eat it. As in, like, he was drugged. The only thing I can think of right now that you’d have to consume in an edible way, that can reverse age….A potion of Longevity?” He offered to Ren, who looked at him with wide eyes. “Oh-Oh gods, they we’re trying to kill him, weren’t they?”

Taako nodded slowly. “Yeah, sure looks like it. The minimum you can de-age is like, thirteen years. Boychik got ridiculously lucky. Or maybe he managed to cough enough of it out to give it a lesser effect. Either way, someone nearly killed the kid.” Kravitz put a hand on Taako’s shoulder, more than a bit concerned at how he was taking the news. He was just being so...casual. But the look in his eyes and the set of his jaw suggested that it was very likely he was instead, utterly enraged and panicked at the same time. It was definitely a front, but the exact emotion he was hiding was a harder thing for the reaper to figure out.

Kravitz gently took the baby from the panicked Ren, and held him the way he best knew how to. “Taako, call Barry and Lup to let them know about this. Probably Magnus, too...His grandfather’s health is too unstable to take care of him until we find a solution.”

Taako only nodded, before picking his stone up and walking back out, the first aid kit and such now discarded on the desk beside them. Kravitz sat in ren’s chair, subtly shifting ot try and find the best way to hold Angus. Ren had no idea either. One of the kids walked forward. “Uh. Sir? I can show you how to hold him if you’d like. I have a baby cousin, and my mama taught me.”

“That’s very nice of you, Issa.” Ren said, partially in relief. After a strained smile form Kravitz, and a nod, she shifted his hands. “You gotta support his head like this, see?” Angus, meanwhile, settled into the likely familiar cloth.

Kravitz looked up as Taako came back in. “I told them, but they’re gonna be busy for a while. Maggie’s already on his way to our place.” The elf said, almost refusing to look at Angus. He turned to Ren. “You did good, getting everything under control, and calling me. However, until further notice, the kids lunch situation needs to be sorted out. Did Ango get his from us, or did he bring it?” Ren considered this for a moment. “He brought it, I think. That’s his Caleb Cleveland lunchbox. I think he was eating some stuff from that bread and soup place down the street.” Taako glanced back to Kravitz. “I’ll tell Magnus to get everyone else, and we can go investigate. Time to do some sleuthing for our littlest detective, huh?”

Kravitz glanced down at Angus, only to find him sleeping, curled close to him. His heart skipped a beat, and he almost started at the odd sensation, not used to having a beating heart in the first place. “I think...I will take him back to our place now. Get him settled in, since we don’t really want to leave him alone. Considering all of the Birds, and at least half of the Bureau will want in on this case, I would rather he stay back, and away from the manhunt. After all, if they were willing to poison a child...Who’s to say they won’t come for him again?”

“They can hurt him over my dead body.” Taako hissed, ears flicking back in an extreme tone shift. He took a few moments to breath, seeing Angus shift in his sleep. He crossed his arms and looked away, still clearly tense. “Picking on a kid for being smart is one thing, but like hell I’m going to let them hurt a baby.” He muttered defensively, before stalking off. “Head home, Krav. I’ll be back later.” Kravitz stood, very careful not to disturb the even younger boy, before gathering the discarded first aid kit, as well as Angus’ belongings.

Taako was going to get to the bottom of this. Even if it meant going right into danger. No one hurts one of his kids and gets out alive.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's another chapter! I couldn't resist, so here's Krav's Day Out. Thanks to my dad for reading through it for me.  
> -Jade

Kravitz had no clue if transportation by portal was safe for a baby. Deciding the risk, no matter how small it was, wasn’t worth it, he made his way out and began walking. He passed through busy streets, carts going past, and people walking by. The noise woke the small detective, and he blinked up at Kravitz, reaching out to grab at part of his attire. He let him, as for the most part, he didn’t know what else to do. He paused upon seeing a bookstore, and came up with an idea. They had no idea how long Angus would be in this condition, and he himself had almost no knowledge of children in general. The bell chiming at his entry, Kravitz approached the counter. A young tiefling woman was behind it, checking over the logs. “Pardon me, Miss, but would you happen to have any books on child care? I’ve recently found myself in charge of this infant, and I’ve found myself severely lacking in knowledge of how to attend to him.” She looked up at the baby in clear adoration, and nodded. “Do you know how old he is?” She asked. “Less than a year, but nothing more specific as of yet.”

She checked through a different book, going through their stock. “Well, we’ve got some books on babies, but a couple of them are for past the first year. We do have three that fit the bill.“ She walked over and went through the shelves, before picking out the ones he needed. “These come to about 75 silvers total.” He nodded, and carefully shifted Angus into one arm, reaching into a pocket and handing her a gold. Being death often paid well, with how much gold necromancers hoarded. “Here you go. Consider the rest a donation.” 

She smiled brightly at him. “Have a good day, Sir! Come again if you need anything else!” 

Kravitz headed to a park and sat in the shade, placing Angus in the most comfortable position he could in the crook of one arm, before opening the first book with the other. After a while of just him reading, he came across the information that helped him figure out about how old Angus actually was. Considering he was sitting up in his arm, and tugging on his hair, and Kravitz had to keep him from sticking some of it in his mouth, he determined he was around four months old, and if they were lucky, they could feed him soft solids. He felt confident enough in the young boy’s safety to place him in his lap, his tiny back to Kravitz’s chest so the reaper could take notes. He quickly found that a bored Angus was a very curious Angus, however, when he tried to grab his shiny pen. He thought for a moment, and decided to give Angus his stone of farspeech. It was too big to fit all the way in his mouth, and it was interesting enough to distract him. Sure enough, it worked.

Kravitz made a list of several things he’d need for him. Toys, firstly, if only to keep him from getting everything else into his little hands and mouth. A crib of some form. Probably a playpen to keep him from wandering. Definitely some form of diaper, or rather, a lot of them. The list kept getting bigger and bigger. Clothes, sippy cups, a bottle and formula if he didn’t take well to solids. 

It caught him a little bit off guard, how much he was interested in learning these things. Life was a fascinating subject to him at times, even if he didn’t always understand it. He paused and looked down at the giggling boy, who was watching and reaching for a leaf fluttering down a foot away. Keeping him from falling, he realized just how incredible it was to have such a precious life in his arms. This was a lot nicer than he thought it would be. But then, his thoughts turned darker, This sweet little boy in his arms was in danger. Someone wanted this baby dead. He understood Taako’s earlier rage at that. Death wasn’t fair, of course not. But murder was preventable. If Taako had his way, it would be preventable with even more murder. 

Shaking himself out of the thoughts, he went back to writing, only to find Angus had taken his pen. Quick to retrieve it before he swallowed any ink or otherwise hurt himself, Angus began to cry, and Kravitz almost started panicking. Setting everything else aside, he picked him up and began softly cooing to him. Literally cooing. Being an emissary of the Raven Queen did some things to you. Angus seemed to stop after a minute, utterly fascinated. He grabbed at his hair again, to which Kravitz let him play, so long as it didn’t end up in his mouth.

After Angus was calm, he set him back in his lap, so he could continue to play with the smooth stone he had been given. Tucking the list into a book, and the book under his other arm, he picked up Angus and headed for a tailor. He spoke to an older human man, who looked as thrilled as the girl from before to see a baby. With a smile, he got Angus fitted for some clothes, and a sling commissioned. They waited in the shop, as it wouldn’t take very long to get at least the sling made. 

During that time, he played with Angus a bit, talking to him about vague things, like how much he liked certain trees, and how much he had found he enjoyed his tiny company, to keep him entertained. When Angus started yawning, however, he got him settled into his vest as a makeshift place to nap. He was out like a light. According to the books, he’d be out for a while. He began to read more, in this quiet little tailor’s shop. And began writing out a schedule, cross-checking information from the books. About three naps a day would work well, as he’d taken half of one earlier, and more sleeping now. He began writing it out on a sheet different to the shopping list, though he crossed off a few items since he was here retrieving them. 

The kind man had managed to adjust somethings to another piece, and all of a sudden, Angus was wearing the cutest onesie Kravitz had ever seen in his, well, afterlife. It was blue, and he looked adorable. With a bit of help and instruction, he fit into the sling, and just like that, Kravitz was on his way, and loving every moment of it. 

He picked up some formula, bottles, sippy cups, and diapers from a decent sized general store. Everywhere he went people seemed to be adoring Angus as much as he did. He figured Magnus would be not only thrilled to see baby Angus, but even more excited to make him a crib, and help put together a playpen. He was a craftsman, and Angus was a friend after all. He’d love even more making him some toys, and Kravitz wasn’t always a gambling man, but he’d bet a lot of gold at least one of the toys made would be a wooden duck.   
He gave in, eventually, that as much as he enjoyed the outing, he should head back to the apartment Taako had been living in, and him unofficially living in as well. With a sigh, he made his way back. This day had gone from very worrying to actually nice. That’s not to say he WASN’T worried about the baby he was carrying, but a giggling infant did wonders to lighten his mood. 

The literal Grim Reaper, dressed in a long white sleeved shirt, red vest, black slacks, polished shoes, and a black overcoat stepped into the front door with a rattle patterned bag over one shoulder full of his recently purchased supplies, a sling across his body, and a baby in an adorable blue onesie on his chest was met with a suddenly silent room full of very serious people. Magnus stared in shock at him for all of one second before he rushed in to gush, “Oh Istus he looks so CUTE! Taako warned me he would be adorable but gods I can’t help it, can I hold him? Please? Pretty please?”

Lucretia blinked at him, holding four more books, one of which was another baby book. Taako must have been very serious to have let her into his home. Two years left him able to talk to her again, and even be hospitable, but this was new. Desperate times, and all that.

Merle looked downright uncomfortable, looking away almost instantly, and back to the circle of concerned adults around him. Davenport still seemed fairly serious, but the sight did make him crack a smile. He caught Merle’s discomfort, and started up a quiet conversation.

Killian watched as her girlfriend rushed over to Magnus’ side, and began chatting excitedly with him about how cute Ango was this tiny. When he reached out to touch the blue dragonborn’s nose with wide eyes at how shiny her scales were, Carey had to bite back a squeal, gripping Magnus by the arm. 

Barry seemed a bit at a loss as to what he should be doing, as the conversation they were having ended so abruptly, Lup looked like she had the stars in her eyes, and had one arm wrapped around her husband’s shoulder, the other reaching out to shake her brother. “Koko. Koko look. He’s adorable. Both of them are. Koko~” She said in a stage whisper. 

Taako ignored Lup shaking him, and stared at Kravitz with an otherwise unreadable expression. Except Kravitz knew his tells. He was caught entirely off guard by the scene before him, and he swallowed almost imperceptibly. 

Kravitz made eye contact with him, and sent him a small smile. He seemed to relax, and with a sigh, began loudly talking about how only his apprentice, and only his boyfriend could make such a scene by entering a room, mostly directed at his sister.

This was, Kravitz decided, turning out to be a good day indeed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter, but I felt like a bit of planning was necessary here. I actually did rolle a nat 20 for Taako disguising Magnus, no joke! I love all the support this fic has been getting! I was honestly so shocked it had been going as well it has been!  
> -Jade

It was decided that Taako, Magnus, and Merle would investigate the place where Angus had gotten his lunch, and that Killian and Carey would be stationed outside in case someone tried to make a run for it. Lucretia and Davenport would be looking for more clues in the city, each taken by Lup and Barry respectively. Kravitz would stay behind, and continue to fawn over baby Angus.

“We need disguises.” Magnus said. “Think about it, they’ll recognize us in a heartbeat! We’ve gotta come up with some form of costume or something.” Taako sighed, and with a bit of magic, he was suddenly an elf woman in a pencil skirt, white dress shirt, and heels. “Done. Now go find something that isn't totally ridiculous to wear.” 

Merle went back into Taako’s room and picked something from his closet. Walking out, wearing one of his longer skirts like a dress, Taako felt his soul descend into the astral plane. “No. No, no, no, gods no. Go put that back right now or so help me-” Magnus looked contemplative. What could he use? “Listen, since both of you are hopeless, and I am not, I’m going to lend you my help just this once. Got it?” he went into his closet and, after a bit of digging around, came out with two boxes. Setting them on the coffee table, for everyone to see, they found them to be Disguise Kits. “I bought them for Lulu and I to use for a prank, but plans fell through and I kept them in case I could find something to use them for. Since I like cosmetics, and performing, I think I can get you two the basics of a good disguise down.”

He sat down across from Magnus first, and though some other of the people in the room were talking about potential leads, most of them were fairly curious or interested. Watching Taako actually try at something was always a show.

After picking out some clothes that might fit and change his appearance, and getting out the cosmetics, Taako set to work on disguising Magnus. And he got a damn CRIT 20. To the awe of everyone in the room, conversation slowly stopped, and they all stared at what they knew had to be Magnus. With a bit of direction from Taako on how to walk and talk, they were met with-  
“Hello, Sirs, and Madams. My name is Charles Sideburns, and it is truly a pleasure to meet you.” He gave a fanciful bow, and Lup was over an instant. “Holy shit, Koko! I can hardly tell there’s a carpenter under all that class!” 

While Lup was talking with ‘Charles’, Taako moved to Merle. He scored an 18, and preened over how good his work was. With similar instructions, albeit not as good as with Magnus, Merle stood forward. “Well met. I am Thomas Boden.” He said, less convincingly than Magnus. But the others were still impressed by Taako’s work. 

Honestly, Taako was just happy he didn’t fail miserably, and have to just leave them both with fake mustaches. It would have been especially awkward, he figures, since Merle already had one with his beard, and the only ones in the kit were a completely different color than Magnus’ hair. Really dodged a missile with that one, huh?

He shook himself from his thoughts. Davenport spoke up. “One possible way to get in is to pretend you’re health inspectors for a surprise inspection?” He offered. Lucretia nodded. “I think I can find a badge you can use to pretend.”

Merle stepped forward. “Actually, I’ve got that covered.” He took out the plastic Sheriff's badge, that Taako quickly snatched from his hand. “What the hell? I gave this to Ango before shit went down! Why do you have it? You know what, I don’t care. I’ll be keeping this, now.” He huffed, and Lup could see he was actually a little miffed at the perceived insult.

Taako spent even more time correcting them on their performances, and was this time joined in by Carey, Lup, and Lucretia on how to move, speak, and behave in general like an authority figure, each contributing their own advice. 

After making sure they each had some health potions and their stones of farspeech in case things went wrong, everyone went their separate ways.

With a bit more organizing themselves, the Tres Horny Boys rolled out, with the rest of the crew they planned to take behind them.


	4. Chapter 4

The Tres Horny Boys rolled into the street across from the shop in question, The Crust Kingdom. They threw the doors open, Taako leading for once, and walked over to the nearest waitress. She seemed to buy their disguises. “We’d like to speak to you and your manager, Ma’am. This is official business.” Magnus piped up, stepping forward. She just nodded, and hurried off to get them. An older gnome woman walked forward, and casted them all a look over, before pulling them aside. “What-What seems to be the problem here?”   
Magnus cleared his throat. “We’re health inspectors, Ma’am. We have reason to believe that your establishment is either not up to code, or that your employees have been making some dangerous mistakes. We’re here to clear things up. Now, I need you to tell me-”  
“Who was cooking here earlier today? Has there been a change in shift. I need to see the kitchens PRONTO.” Taako stepped forward, easily towering over this woman. The problem was, his voice slipped through his disguise, and both the Waitress and the manager looked at him, recognition of such a well-known persona quickly coming to the surface, before Merle stepped in.

“What my partner here means to say is, we’ll be needing to check all of your facilities. Storage, Fridge, Kitchens, hell, even your cleaning closets. We’ll also need to do a very thorough investigation of this general area, and the serving counter, of course.” The way he spoke commanded their attention, distracting them, with Magnus nodding and backing him up. With a glance to Taako, and a small nod, the disguised Wizard quietly snuck into the kitchens. 

It didn’t take long for him to investigate, since no one knows their way around a kitchen like the Taako Taaco, From TV. It was a classic commercial kitchen, with shiny metal tables and stoves. He mentioned that he was a health inspector to the working staff, and began to look around himself, ignoring the attempts of the head chef to guide him. After opening a few of the fridges, he found what he was looking for. “What is that?”

“Oh! That? One of the new hires gave us a recipe for a special of the day. Broiled scorpion and grilled Adder. It seemed a bit weird, but when we tried it, it was really-”

“You’ve been serving venomous animals to customers? What were you thinking!? Who’s the new hire, I demand to speak with them immediately. And your manager, for letting this happen.” The head chef, hurried off to get the gnome woman from before.

She came in, followed by Magnus and Merle, where Taako explained the situation. “Oh, my. Well, you see, the ingredients used in the dishes themselves aren’t actually venomous, but-”

“But nothing! You have no idea if this new hire of yours is qualified to handle the venomous parts safely.“

Magnus chimed in, “That is incredibly irresponsible. Letting someone unqualified handle dangerous ingredients? That itself is a write up.”

Merle nodded, writing something down on a clipboard. This seemed to make the manager very nervous. “Well, you see, he is qualified! It’s right in his file, listen. I’ll show you. You really don’t need to be worried about this.”

They followed her to the office, and she went through a cabinet for a minute before pulling out a yellow file. “His name is Jeremy Reynolds, he’s about 24, half-orc that’s been working here for a few months now. He came in and showed us a sample of his recipe along with a certificate he received from an upstanding culinary class that showed he was able to handle the materials responsibly.”

Magnus looked unconvinced, and Merle shook his head and continued writing things down. The woman grew more nervous. Taako sensed her weakness and put a finely manicured hand on her shoulder, pulling her to the side. “Listen, Margaret, the truth is, we’re concerned because this individual may have been blacklisted against cooking in commercial restaurants. He could be a dangerous man, and we really aren’t willing to take any chances here.”

She looked frightened. “All we need is his address, so we can send the proper authorities there to question him, and see if he’s been trying to get around the rules. Okay? I don’t think that’s much to ask for, here. And maybe, if you cooperate with us, we put your name aside as being helpful. See if you can get a raise for your, ah, ‘due diligence’?”

The woman nodded seriously. “Of course, of course! Here, let me write it down for you. He has an apartment down the way.” She scribbled the address down onto a scrap of paper that Taako snatched from her hand. Grinning, the elf in disguise opened his arms in a grand gesture. “Thank you very much, Margaret! You’ve been ever so open, and kind, and we’ll have a word with the higher ups about how much of help you’ve been. Right, fellas?” He called over his shoulder, as he started pushing the other two out the door. Magnus nodded. “Yeah, yeah. You’ll get a raise, for sure.”

“Maybe even a promotion!” Merle called back before Taako shoved him through the door frame. 

“Catch ya later, Marge!”

They made their way quickly out into the street, and the alley where Killian and Carey were waiting. Merle breathed a heavy sigh of relief. “Wowza. They really bought it hook, line and sinker.” Magnus looked at the address Taako held. “What’s that?”

“Oh, this? Just the address and full name of our prime suspect.” He waved it around nonchalantly.

“Okay, wow. Who are they?” Killian took the paper from him and looked it over.

“Jared Reynaldo or something. Dude started working here a few months back, making a special of the day that just so happens to use all the same ingredients that the potion that shrunk Agnes does. Coincidence? I doubt it.”

“That was some good work in there, you guys. We should have enough time to let everyone know what’s going on, and swing by his place before anyone catches wind of the fact that you’re not actually health inspectors.”

“Oh, we have plenty of time! Ya boi over here scored a solid rep with the boss lady, she thinks this is a police investigation now.”

“That, might actually mean we have less time than we planned. Or maybe it actually worked and we have more? Either way, we should get moving.” Killian said while glancing around the corner of the building. 

The Tres Horny Boys and Team Sweet Flips rolled out, ready for the next part of their mission.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I happen to have another fic in the planning stages. It isn't tied to this series particularly, but it's set a ways back, before the boys reunited. As for this fic, I didn't intend for the first part of this chapter to even happen. But then it did, and I adored it, and now it's here. Dadvitz Interlude, part 2!

The apartment Taako lived in was as stylish as it was dangerous to an infant.

 

Glass sculptures on several tables, magical artifacts strewn about, tables and counters with sharp edges.

 

Kravitz would be having heart palpitations right about now if his still worked.

 

He-according to several of the books on infant care-needed to get this place baby-proofed immediately. Unfortunately, he had no one left behind with him when everyone split up to search for the culprit. As it was, he held Angus as he looked over the living area in concern.

 

The young detective, no, the literal infant in his arms kept playing with his hair, and the collar of his shirt. Kravitz took hold of one very small hand, which then wrapped around his finger. He was so tiny... _Fragile_ …

 

If Kravitz was honest with himself(as he often was), the make up and functioning of the living intimidated him. Not because he was afraid of them, Goddess, no.

 

He was afraid _for_ them. It was the same fear he felt every time Taako got called out to a peacekeeping mission. That maybe the next time he saw him again, it would be in a colorful sea, with a lovely face staring up at him from the waves.

 

Taako had come so close to dying, so many times. Just like that, everything would be over for him. For both of them. He didn’t think there were any rules against having a lover in the sea, but he didn’t want to risk it. Taako, regardless of that century through the planes, was a fairly young elf. He had centuries yet before him. Kravitz didn’t notice his own pacing, as his mind was sent into a tailspin.

 

And that was only Taako. Then there was Magnus, and Merle. Their years were so much shorter, it hurt to think of them being taken too soon. Oh, Goddess. How was he going to console Taako when they passed? He would be far more broken then himself, considering their extensive history.

 

Angus tugged particularly sharp on a braid, and snapped Kravitz back to the present enough to look down at him.

 

And now, Angus. The round, chubby cheeks, those bright and clever eyes...He was a child. And now, an infant. The thought of him being killed…

 

Kravitz felt his stomach roll and he swallowed, carefully brushing a curl away from the curious boy’s face.

 

“Easy there, Angus.” He murmured, voice weak. He had almost died. He had almost _died_ today.

 

It was luck and luck alone that saved him. None of his skills, or talents, or even his brilliant mind saved him. It was _luck_.

 

Needing a moment, Kravitz sat down, and held Angus close to him for a moment, focusing on breathes he didn’t need to take.

 

It was several minutes of that, before the boy detective himself papped his cheek. Kravitz looked down at him, and saw Angus reach up, and pap him again. He may not understand exactly what was going on, but he helped. Kravitz felt a weak smile grow, and he papped him back.

 

Right. It was his duty to protect Angus, now. May Istus be merciful to those that hurt him, for Kravitz would be anything but.

 

Those serious thoughts aside, Kravitz considered what his next step should be.

 

* * *

 

Angus giggled, in a fortress of couch cushions.

 

Kravitz would admit it was a fairly crude solution, but it was the best one he had. Keeping an eye on the baby, he went through the living room and took down the dangling decorations, and put all the sculptures up on high shelves. There wasn’t much he could do about the sharp corners on the furniture, but he figured Magnus would be more than willing to take a look at them.

 

Once the area was mostly safe, he glanced at the wall clock, and saw it was very much time for Angus to eat. With a book as his guide, and Taako’s occasional cooking lesson, the grim reaper made a batch of baby formula. In the process, he got some on his shirt, and as this was a gift from Taako and not part of his construct, he made a hurried exit to their room to change it. He returned momentarily with the bottle in hand.

 

After testing it to ensure it wouldn’t be too hot for him, which was mostly an estimate to begin with, Kravitz ducked back into the living room. “I’m sorry that took so long, Angus, but I had a bit of a spill-” He went silent at seeing the walls of Fort Cushion breached. Angus was nowhere in sight. Kravitz felt his stomach drop.

 

“Angus? Angus, where did you go?” He looked underneath the table, and then the couch, and then behind the couch. He checked down the short hallway to see if he had tried to follow him, then into the closet in case someone had left it open, growing more frantic.

 

“Angus? This isn’t a game. I need you to come out right now.” He heard something fall in the kitchen, and he was there so fast he would assume he used a portal, not that he paid any heed to anything besides the fact that the kitchen hadn’t been baby proofed yet.

 

A giggling Angus McDonald sat on the tiled floor, halfway into the bottom cabinet, covered in flour. The reaper felt his sigh of relief down to his very bones.

 

“That wasn’t funny, young man. You would have given me a heart attack, if I could have one.” he tried to sound stern, but instead held Angus close. The shirt he had changed into was a spare one, so he didn’t mind if it got dirty. That’s what happened when you cared for a baby, after all.

 

Kravitz looked Angus over, and considered. “I suppose your meal will have to wait. Someone seems to have made a bit of a mess, hmn?” Angus cooed, and reached up, leaving streaks of white in the reaper’s hair. Kravitz chuckled, feeling oddly elated now that he knew the child in his arms was safe.

 

Setting the bottle aside, Kravitz held Angus in one arm while he carried him to the spare room. Angus was set down carefully on the bed, and Kravitz kept his eyes on him as he got a spare change of clothes, and diaper.

 

“Now then, let’s get you cleaned up.” Kravitz picked the young boy up, and headed into the bathroom. This, at least, was something he could figure out. Don’t leave him alone, don’t get soap in his eyes, and do _not_ let his head go underwater.

 

After Angus was cleaned up, he was dressed in a purple onesie Kravitz thought Taako would adore, as it had patches of a soft, reflective material. That may have been the entire reason he chose it, to be honest.

 

“Let’s go get you a few more things, alright?” Kravitz told Angus, who was busy trying to understand why he had such a different shirt on.

 

They set out, Kravitz speaking softly to the boy as they came across just about anything eye catching. He told him about the birds he saw, the carts driving past, and the shop windows they glanced in. Eventually they arrived in a high class part of town, to which Kravitz finally found a large shop that likely sold what he had in mind.

 

Enterting, a bell rang, and he was relieved to see an expansive baby isle. After looking through, he found what he was searching for. A playpen with weighted posts, so a baby would have a fair bit of trouble knocking it down. Then, something else caught his eye. “Well, would you look at that. What do you think, Angus? Does that look fun?” The bouncy chair was of a fine quality, and seemed to be fairly safe. When Kravitz glanced at the baby, he started.

 

“Oh, no, no, don’t put that in your mouth.” He gently took a puzzle block away from him, and looked it over for a moment. “Well, you are a detective. Let’s see if they have any toys pertaining to logic, then, shall we?” Kravitz ended up buying a lot more than he expected, but Angus seemed happy, and he had money to spare as the Raven Queen’s best reaper.

 

Necromancers often kept treasure, after all.

 

There were so many toys and large items, including a silver dragon plushie bigger than Angus was, that he just had it all wheeled out into the alley, and opened a portal.

 

He wasn’t going to go through it with Angus, Goddess, no. He still wasn’t sure if his tiny body could handle such a sharp shift in space. Instead, he just sent all the purchased items through and into the living room, and closed the portal.

 

He walked back home with a spring in his step. He had sent everything through, but one small thing.

 

Angus held very close to him a small horsie plush. He sure seemed to adore that small horsie. Even if he was chewing  on its ear.

 

Kravitz thought that was adorable, and made sure he didn’t drop it on their trek back. As much as he wished they could take a stroll through the park they passed, it was still time for Angus to eat, and he had made him wait long enough. When they entered the apartment, the baby detective was beginning to look grouchy at his lack of food, as he tossed down the horsie in frustration.

 

“Easy there, Angus. I have your bottle right here.” With the baby guide open on the dining table, and Angus in his arms, Kravitz began to feed him, sating the small child.

 

He glanced at the clock again, feeling a bit uneasy. It was starting to be the evening, and Taako hardly ever missed cooking dinner if he could help it. He was sure they were fine. Of course they were. If they needed him, his stone of farspeech would be lit up on all frequencies.

 

Once Angus finished, Kravitz carefully burped him as directed, with a towel thrown over his shoulder. Which was then dirtied, and placed away.

 

As Angus yawned, and began to settle in for another nap, Kravitz realized he was a very quiet baby. He wondered if he should be worried by that, but decided that it was fine as long as he was happy and healthy.

 

After setting him down for a nap in the cushion fort, with Kravitz keeping a far more careful eye on him, he got to work setting up the playpen. He could use the bouncy chair later, during dinner, if only because Kravitz had a bit more baby proofing to do.

 

He didn’t sleep long, so Kravitz set him up in his new pen in the kitchen, where he got down on his knees, tied his hair back, rolled up his sleeves, and began installing child-proof locks. Taako disliked when things in his kitchen were tampered with, but after the Flour Incident, he figured it would be a welcome change.

 

The only concern he had was that if Angus retained as much of his intelligence as Kravitz suspected, he’d be able to figure out the locks with enough time and practice. So Kravitz decided to distract him with some of the logic toys he purchased, and they worked like a charm. The owl plushie joined the Horsie plush, and Dragon plush, and Angus squealed in delight at his new friends. Kravitz smiled, feeling a warm content at the sight. There were a few hiccups, including some literal ones, but it was all worth it in the end to see him like this.

 

And then, just like that, there was the sound of voices and a large crash in the hallway. Kravitz grew very worried when he recognized the panicked voices of his friends.

 

He picked Angus up and hurriedly placed him in the bedroom, before rushing back out, calling his scythe. He made it halfway into the living room, and felt his heart drop at the sight of Magnus and Merle, shouting at each other. Of Lup and Barry trying to see over Magnus’ shoulder. Of Lucretia clutch a thick black book with a dozen unclasped locks along the side. Of Davenport shoving past them, taking control of the situation while Killian and Carey helped each other up off the ground. Of shouting as a portal shut.

 

Of Taako, dazed and bloodied in Magnus’ arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was more angst than intended. The Kravitz Interludes were supposed to be fun, and happy. Guess not, huh?


	6. Chapter 6

Hours earlier, the teams doing the investigation reconverged outside of Jeremy Reynold’s apartment building. It was easy, getting in. 

 

Once they found the right apartment, Carey stood at the end of the hall where the stairs and elevator were, on lookout, while Magnus put his rouge training to good use and picked the lock.

“Can you like, hurry it up? We’ve got cases to crack, and people to kill, Mr. I-Leveled-In-Rogue.”  Taako said, warily glancing around like Carey. “I don’t feel like going to prison, not that it any jail could keep me contained.”

 

“Don’t rush me, this is all about patience. It could take upwards of thirty minutes for me to-”

Click.

“Alright, I’m in.”

 

With Taako rolling his eyes, everyone hurried inside, shutting the door behind them. 

 

They found themselves in a fairly open plan apartment. A bookshelf lined the wall in the left corner of the room, with a desk near to a window who’s curtains were drawn. To the right was a series of pictures of Jeremy. Taako paused at those, frustrated that he had no useful information on the guy, who looked incredibly boring.

 

In the center of the room, were two couches facing each other with a coffee table in between. To their left was an open plan, and fairly bare bones kitchen. 

 

To their right was a small hallway, leading to presumably the bathroom, and the bedroom.

 

Davenport took charge. “Okay, everybody needs to split up so we can cover as much ground as quickly as possible. We’re looking for clues as to Reynold’s involvement. Lucretia and I will check the desk in here for anything useful. Barry and Lup can check the bookshelf. Taako, Merle, you two see what you can find in the bedroom. Magnus, get out your sword and watch the door, Killian, get out your crossbow and watch the windows. If you see anyone coming, tell us before you attack. Carey, check in here for any secret compartments or-or anything like that. Okay team, break!”

 

* * *

 

Magnus got out the Flaming Raging Poisoning Sword of Doom, and kept an eye on the peephole, watching the hall for anyone coming by. It seemed quiet so far...If it was just a neighbor, he wouldn’t bother raising any alarms. That would just make things more suspicious. He paused, and looked away form the door to the walls. How thin were they? If they ended up finding something, or made too much noise, there was a chance the neighbors could hear. 

 

He was supposed to keep watch, so he checked back in on the peephole in between appraising the walls around them. Fortunately, it was about the time that most people with jobs or errands to run would be out on the town, so there wasn’t any activity in the hallway.

 

Killian, meanwhile, got out her crossbow and moved the curtain just enough to watch the street for anyone suspicious. She saw plenty of people walking by on a busier road down the way, and a few walking past on the street below, but no one inherently suspicious. 

 

Not until the commotion happened behind her, at least.  
  


 

* * *

 

 

Barry and Lup began on opposite ends of the bookshelf, working towards the middle as they took each book off individually to flip through and investigate. “You know, it’d be really useful if I triggered a secret passage right about now...Or now....Now, maybe?” Lup tried with each book.

 

“Or, you know, we could find a secret in the pages. Like a cutaway compartment.” Barry suggested.

 

“Oh, hell yeah! Nobody checks the bookshelves because they’re for nerds. Like you.”

 

“Please, my books are WAY better than this. I mean seriously, he might have a good amount, but he doesn’t even have anything interesting in here. This is the most boring bookshelf I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen plenty.”

 

“Wait, babe, hold on.”

 

“What? Did you find something?” Barry turned to see Lup paused, about to pull out the next book.

 

“Check out this shelf again. Like, seriously look at it. These aren’t cheap books, even if they’re boring as hell. And it’s a full shelf that goes to the ceiling. How the hell does a shitty chef in a sub par restaurant afford all this?”

 

An explosion rocked one of the other rooms.

 

* * *

 

Lucretia was a gifted speed reader, and had gotten an accolade for it in the academy. This was a very useful skill to have when she needed to get through documents fast. In this instance, she was shuffling through the loose papers and notes on the desk. “All of these are just tax returns and job hunting paperwork. Oh, here’s a copy of his resume. He has several, so I’m taking this one for future reference.”

 

“Good idea.” Davenport told her as he was busy looking over the desk. Looking underneath for anything suspicious, and finding nothing, he began to search the drawers.  After opening the ones on the left, and finding nothing but office supplies like blank sheets of paper, a box of staples and so on, he began to look through the right. He paused, then pulled open the matching drawer on the left.

 

“Lucretia, I think...I think this one has a false bottom. Look at how deep the one on the left goes, compared to the one on the right. Carey, can we get some help?”

 

Carey, who had been looking under the couches and rug, as well as the kitchen, came over. “Not bad. It’s probably trapped. Let me see what I can do…”

 

After a bit of finesse work, Care got the compartment popped open, the trap unsprung. Inside was a thick, leatherbound black book with intricate locked clasps along the edges. “I got this, too.” Carey spent some time undoing every clasp, before Lucretia carefully picked it up, and began flipping through. “It’s a logbook, but it’s written in code. I need some time to crack it…”

 

She instinctively shielded the book from the burst of flames that came from the hall.

 

* * *

 

Taako and Merle wandered down the hall.

 

“Do you think he’s actually gonna keep anything incriminating just laying around the place?” Merle said, looking at the photos hung up on the wall. They were mostly landscape pictures of fancy places. Vacation photos, he guessed.

 

“Beats me, but we’re gonna find out. Hold on, we should probably check the bathroom, too. And by we, I mean you.” Taako pointed to the door in question.

 

“Fine. Less to search, anyways.” Merle grumbled. He entered, and found it was incredibly plain. There were some fancy hair products, but not much else. Well, if they were gonna break into a guy’s home, might as well make it worthwhile. He pocketed a small bottle of special shampoo, before checking under the cabinets to find several more bottles. “Damn. Guess he won’t miss it, huh?” The cleric mumbled to himself.

 

“What was that?” Taako called.

 

“Nothing, nothing! He’s boring as hell, nothing of value in here at all. How’s your search going?”

 

“This door, it’s so hard to open. But I’ve almost got it, I think!” Taako said, not even trying to open the door as he checked behind the vacation photos. 

 

“Need a hand?”

 

“Nah. Taako’s good.”

 

After trying the door, for real this time, Taako found it was locked. Luckily for him, he was a gifted wizard, who knew at least a few basic spells. One such spell was Knock. 

 

Taking a step back, since he was the only one actually in the hall, Taako casted the basic spell.

 

He didn’t notice the runes along the door frame.

 

A loud explosion rocked the hallway, sending bursts of flame all over the wizard, while Merle was safe in the bathroom. 

 

Magnus called, “Shit! The neighbors definitely heard that, we need to move. Taako, Merle, you guys okay?”

 

“That’s not all! Reynolds is coming down the street, and I think he heard it to. He’s running, and we need to move!” Killian moved from the window.

 

Lup and Barry stood, Barry making an escape portal into the hallway while Lup rushed to Taako, with Magnus on her heels.

 

Lucretia, having not deciphered a thing, stuffed the logbook under her arm. Carey took up watch at the door, while Davenport checked into the hall to see what had happened.

 

Merle ducked out of the bathroom, swearing. “Shit, Taako, how bad did it get you?”

 

There was no answer, as the wizard was on the ground, bleeding and stunned from the blast. Magnus scooped him up, while Lup grabbed Merle by the arm and dragged him to the portal.

 

Carey had hit the wall at her leap through, due to not realizing how to close to it Barry had summoned the portal.It made a very large crash, alerting the entire hall to their presence. If the shouting hadn’t already, at least.

 

“We need to get out now! He’s coming down the hall!” Carey called out, and Lucretia was shoved through the portal by Davenport. Then Magnus, Taako, Lup and Merle rushed in.

 

Carey was the second to last to enter, as she shoved the coffee table against the door, before deftly escaping through. Barry and Davenport went in together, the portal shutting behind them just in time to catch a glimpse of the coffee table being pushed aside by the opening of the door.

 

They were in the hallway of Taako’s apartment. Lup was hovering by Magnus’ arm, looking at her bleeding brother in panic, unsure of the strength of the wards he had triggered.

 

Davenport said “Give him some god damn space, Magnus, don’t jostle him, we don’t know how hard he hit his head on the floor!”

“ Somebody open the door, so I can find somewhere to put him!” Magnus yelled back, to their group.

 

“Lucretia, check for any burn cream in the first aid kit.” Davenport took charge, while Barry hastily opened the door. Killian helped Carey up off the ground, and became a shoulder for her to lean on, as she had injured her own in her haste to escape.

 

This was the sight a terrified looking, armed Kravitz came face to face with.


End file.
